Edge.

Hi.

I'm getting married in less than 2 weeks.

People keep asking lots of questions and I often don't know how to answer. Questions like 'how are you feeling' are far too easy to ask, and really difficult to answer.
The inside of my head is always kind of a mess, because i'm me, and I find it hard to marshall a clear opinion on these kind of things. There are good things and bad things and things I don't know how to classify, and thoughts that come from nowhere and thoughts I haven't looked at properly and fears that sometimes go away and joy that sometimes goes away....
and then someone asks 'oooo, are you excited?'

The socially acceptable answer is that yes, I am thrilled and excited and smiley smiley. The asnwer I want to give is different all the time and changes from hour to hour depending on what's going on in my head.

Which doesn't sound much like a rom com.
Which doesn't bother me.

Because yes, my head is a mess.

However.

I've got a heart (gut, instinct, will). I'm being undeniably tugged towards January 17th, towards John, towards being his wife. And that is good. More good than anything else i've ever known, experienced, chosen, felt or fought for.

Excited? Only sometimes.
Balanced? Heck no.
Acceptable? HECK no.
Sorted? Never


SURE? YES.
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